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Monday, September 7th, 2009
5:00 pm - LOL argument

So I might get looked down upon for basically posting an argument on Myspace but it's a rather silly argument for the guy who started it's conversations are just so untrue that it is amusing.

Little Background: I met this 29 year-old who thinks it's the 1960s (yet a lot of his morals are very anti-1960s) at a party on the fourth of July. He stated the first night he met me that he liked me, however he is completely obsessed with his ex. The last time I talked to him was July 12thish and I sent him a message that wasn't intentionally harsh but made him stop talking to me. Then a month later, randomly he messages me just like he did after he met me on the fourth of July. Here it goes....

Read more...Collapse )

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Monday, February 25th, 2008
4:47 pm - Hmmm........lol

Hey there... Saw your profile here... We are a very real and open Milwaukee area couple... Our profiles here have pic's and more about us... We're always seeking like minded friends to hang out with, do dinner, talk, or whatever... Hope to chat with you sometime soon if you're interested.


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Wednesday, February 20th, 2008
10:48 am - Why?!?

Is this guy trying to tell me he's been stalking me via REALLY BAD poetry?
I have NO IDEA who this guy is either. Let's LOL @ him until I decide whether or not to call the cops.

current mood: creeped out

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Monday, January 7th, 2008
7:20 pm - EW 0.o

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From:  Remedy^red 
Date:  December 11, 2007 -- 03:49:19 PM
To:  Mishi~Ragdoll 
 Subject:  wut popin ma 
Message:    oh ok bet i made dis just for u Miss butter pecan caramel southern bell u hotter than a summer day in hell I'm under your spell, u say your name is tale short-of like story tale you say got a man, i can't tell because when we be rockin' we get it poppin like a Amsted, like right up in the hotel, maybe the stairwell you blows kisses to my handheld you an angel your name should be An-gel ' I'm blessed 'I kill you wit the rich man smell you got a wet manhole and ya mans fell whoa i slipped and i inkwells i saw jelly fishes seashells, no further details i love the smell of a female and you're one hell of a female I'm tellin' you female get in the cl and let it be sweet sailin' and late night e-mailin, i called you on a late night it was late right i was on your ass like some brake-lights but i ain't stop for the red-light we get it poppin' till the blue and red lights come knockin' neighbors keep trippin, we keep fuckin sex revolution, baby I'm comin down the hallway that lead to your stomach, mami I’m keep pumpin till you scream young money and me and you're boyfriend is not the same i goes down like the stock exchange, and the I bring it up 'excuse me, i drink it up, i leave you soakin' wet from ya ankle up shucks  

This dude totally grossed me out...

current mood: cranky

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Monday, December 3rd, 2007
6:54 pm - hi im new. sorry i dont have the link...

because the profile was deleted by now. but i did take a screenshot at the time, luckily. one of the weirdest messages ive received.

<img src="http://i20.tinypic.com/vowqz8.jpg">

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Wednesday, October 31st, 2007
2:15 am

 Back story:  My friends' cousin was on my friends list.  She's known to be a drama queen who acts different on Myspace than in real life...but actually she's pretty crazy either way.  Anyway, she posted approximately 10 bulletins a day, all in OMGZ CAPS LOCK!!!!1.  All chain bulletins and cheesy jokes everyone has heard.  Anyway, I got fed up and discreetly posted my own bulletin:


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Saturday, October 13th, 2007
7:19 pm - YEAH!

Please excuse The Post That WAS here!

my account was HACKED and I dunno how MY banners made it here. SORRY.

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Friday, June 29th, 2007
6:34 am

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: ********
Date: Jun 29, 2007 2:58 AM

My true passion still lies with Drum and bass, techno and dance. So i tend to stray towards dirty base nights at local uni's and streetparties. My wistle got lost at download 06 somewhere after prodigy and before G n' R. Then turned up the next morning inside my tent, attached to a random female..

*update* he wrote back more:
On the first night of said festival I was in the company of three lovely females that I had met whilst stumbling across to the toilets. We wined and dined untill about 4, then i have no idea what happened. I woke up the next morning in my tent, no females attached but with a solid silver dragon ring on my finger. I didn't buy that ring, I can only assume that one of the females did. The only conclusion i can draw from this is that somewhere somehow i must have accidentally married someone whilst highly intoxicated. I hope that one day i can meet this person again so i can ask them... what the fuck...?"

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Tuesday, June 19th, 2007
9:59 am - Bite me, choir boy!

I knowwwww I shouldn't reply to spammers, or jerks in general, but I did when I got this message from "Lone Angel":

LONE ANGEL: Hot, But I think you need maturity...Ever tried Salvia? It can be purchased at passion Cove 281-443-6900

Me: Your mom needs maturity.

LONE ANGEL: Thanks for the abuse.

Me: Thanks for the shitty spam.

LONE ANGEL: All this from a person who claims in her my space to be awhore and athiest. What a piece of work you are. It would only be fitting you are in politics. Do the people you work for know you are such a bitch and don't mind running over anyone who gets in your way?  Sorry to try and be your friend. You know some people may need a friend and you slash them as you have me, does that make you proud, as proud as professing you are a whore?

(Under "occupation" on my Myspace, it says "Hooker" as a joke.  It also says I make $250,000 a year!)

current mood: blah

(1 comment | comment on this)

Sunday, June 10th, 2007
8:23 am - .....I'm Not Single, You Illiterate Douche

From: Davis
Date: Jun 10, 2007 6:14 AM

How u doing,it's nice to read ur profile,u are so interesting,cant wait to get to know u better,i have some pic i can send to ur email.my life's so simple and i am a very gentle man,i have a son that i love so very much,i need someone i can love always and always make each other happy and always spend a joyful moment together, someone i can always treat the way i could treat myself and my son too,it's very hard to fine the true and real love,i guess you know, cuz it tells from the mind from the first time two people meet each other and start with friendship.they will have know from there maybe something good will come out of there friendship,am very caring,kind,understanding,outgoing person,lovely,passionate,romantic,and i love playing with pet and watching football.i like to spend most of my time with my woman,and also like going out for shopping with my woman also,but it has been a long time i have do that,i have been always lonely all the time ever since i have got divorced for 5yrs ago.well,i can not wait to hear back from u,u can add me on yahoo IM, x_man00740@yahoo.com,so we can get to chat and know more about each other.it's really nice meeting u here,am so happy right now,so u take good care of urself and also feel much happy as i am to u right now .have a nice day,i will be so happy to get to know u better and see maybe things can work out btw us,God bless you.bye.Davis

My response:

RE: Hi sweetie

If you had read my profile instead of just stroking your dick to my pictures, you'd have noticed that I'm in a relationship.

There is nothing romantic or sexy about men who fail to notice that.

current mood: amused

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Friday, May 4th, 2007
1:10 pm - Oh, look! Personal contact info...

James sez:


My name is Jim. I was browsing through the profiles when I came upon yours. You seem like the type of person I would get along with, so I wanted to introduce myself to you. I would also like to give you my phone number, 847-931-2938, just to give us another option for communication. Personally, I prefer talking on the phone when getting to know another person as we can have a much more spontaneous, personable conversation via the telephone than that through a computer. You are also welcome to communicate with me via my email address. It is single_white_man42@yahoo.com … Unfortunately, my previous myspace account was not functioning properly, so I was not able to receive any incoming messages and was not sure of the status of messages that I had sent. I am resending this introduction to you to spark your memory if you received my original email, or in case you didn’t receive it in the first place. Take care and hope to hear from you soon- Jim…PS. This is not a scam and I am not going to ask you for money or anything of the kind,,lol. I am just a good man looking for a good woman to spend time with dancing, movies, walks, dinner,,etc. It would be great to have a person to do things with now that Summer is on its way, Hopfully,,lol.

Oh lordy lordy lordy. Someone please stop me. Cannot. Crank. Call. Seriously, where do these freaks come from, eh?

current mood: hungry.

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Wednesday, April 25th, 2007
5:17 pm - hey hottie

Hey sexy girl...do we both have insomnia?? Cuz that would be sweet!


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5:15 pm - what's up?

My name is Donny and my profile is also ridiculous. I'm from the Milwaukee area and just out looking for a "Lemonie Fresh" kind of Gal. I don't like stinky girls. Hit me back if you would like to get to know me.
I'll check out your show.


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Tuesday, April 24th, 2007
7:01 pm

hello pretty woman,
how are you doing today?hope all is well with you and your family if so glory be too God almighty for his goodness and defined protection over you and your houshold...i am biodun by name,im godfearing,honest,caring,loving,understanding and also respectful to women becos there so wonderful and special to God also to man so i belive there decived that real love always................but i was shouck 3yrs ago when my ex-girle friend dump me.i cry beaterly.since then i could not be able to love again.becos i don't wanna go break my heart again..i still care for women i respect them there som wonderful without them man can never stand but im washing my heart so well..................i must confess you are a pretty woman have ever since in my life.i was touch when i set my eyes on your pic u love cute,pretty,charming and sexy so i decided to express my feelings by telling u that i moved and touch with ur lovely beauty........................ur bless baby.this is my yahoo id:.u can reach me here ok if u are on.tunde4lord_2007@yahoo.com i will wait to here from you baby have a great day and i want u to know that ur pretty is onsome...



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Friday, April 6th, 2007
4:52 pm - Yet another freak. Oh, how I love teh internets.

Geo writes:

Date: Apr 6, 2007 3:31 PM

whats up sexy... ur hot do u need some luvin???

Yes, please. I do need some luvin. And could you make sure to bring that Camel extra wide you got dangling from between your lips, too? It just compliments those tinted glasses and mullet in a way that words cannot.

Someone please contain before I burst with excitement. How could I be so lucky?!? I love a man that does not mince words. And has images of smurfs sucking on nipples.

How is it possible that this creature is in the same species as me? Let alone the same genus? And sadly, he has already procreated. Is it possible to stop him now before he does again?

current mood: disgusted.

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Tuesday, April 3rd, 2007
2:16 am - Now I can meet local losers too

"I'm interested. You busy?"

interested in what?

"Interested in gettin to know you more, to be your boyfriend, and maybe more."

no thanks!


(1 comment | comment on this)

Sunday, March 4th, 2007
12:55 am - Priceless

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Nambo
Date: Mar 3, 2007 3:44 AM

i mind you

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Erika Jean
Date: Mar 3, 2007 1:16 PM

What does that even mean?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Nambo
Date: Mar 3, 2007 10:33 PM

sorry. maybe you dont know english well or maybe you speak like niggers do in jhop hop. never mind. basically, thats what i mean. i dont like you. .......hahahahahaha. bye

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Monday, February 26th, 2007
4:36 pm - HAHAHAHAHA


He didn't mail me anything. just a friend request. and that's enough


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Friday, January 26th, 2007
10:23 am - I myself am curious where these freaks come from.

Billy writes:

Date: Jan 26, 2007 10:10 AM

Subject: hi

Body: i am a very in shape guy and i fly for United Airlines Chicago i am 35 years old

give me an honest answer......

i want to have phone sex with this gal i know but i am so god dam chicken......why? i am not even sure phone sex is any good.....but i am curious

have you done it? is it really worth the effort?

i have not done it cause i get extremely extremely loud when i masturbate and omg when i cum i scream........so i am so embarrased and that is why i think i cannot do it........PLEASE DONT LAUGH AT ME......

i really am looking for a mature honest answer....how do get over my loudness or do i just forget it

please dont be mad at me for asking

Good lord. What the hell was that all about? If you were looking for a mature, honest answer, you obviously would not be writing to some complete stranger on the internets. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with people? More importantly, will anyone fall for his questioning? Hope you all find that as entertaining as I did on a Friday morn.

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Tuesday, November 28th, 2006
11:49 pm - Is this even English?

From Teflon
wuz good ma?? jus chillin wit my cousin. we both lookin at yo pic like dammmmmm she sexy as hell!! we both wonderin what yo body look like without those clothes?? is that possible fa us to find out?? r u truly single?? is so....for how long?? we tryin to find out whats good wit u?? how long have u been fuckin wit women?? have u eva had a threesome?? if u wanna have a good time ...b sho to holla back at us asap....and we got pics....wuz good ma?? aint neither one of us eva had a threesome....can we find out how that is?? get back at us as soon as u get time aiight?? we tryin to fuck tonight...wuz good ma. we ova here fucked up off tha vodka and weed and lookin fa some fun....do u wanna join us....tha night is still young...get back at us asap and let us know what u wanna do ....we'll b waitin....what it do beautiful??? jus think of it this way....two dicks fa tha price of one...and there aint really no price....unless u consider havin plenty orgasms a price

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